How’s your communication? Communicating is about one person giving or sending a message to another person, and the other person receiving that message. How the message is given is about the person giving the message, and how the message is received is about the person receiving the message. This all depends on the worldview of each person, their life experiences, their emotions at the time and what is going on in their lives. To avoid misunderstanding, misinterpretation, offences, confusion or hurt feelings, judgements or wrong perceptions, it is wise to remember that the message and how it is received depends on what’s going on in each person’s world. Until we get clarity on a message its best not to make any assumptions about it. To get clarity, get curious: ask ‘curious’ questions. The language we use is completely about us, about how we think, how we feel, where we’re at, our opinions, our thoughts, our judgements, our perceptions, our perspectives.
There are two keys to keep in mind when communicating :
1) Remember that the language we use is completely about us.
2) Remember that any message the receiver receives, is about the recipient, and the sender of the message doesn’t need to take on the feelings or reactions of the recipient.
Being a good communicator is about all the above, and also about honouring the transmitter of the message by listening to them, and getting further clarification to make sure their message is understood. Remember in any communication we are only 50% of the conversation.
Some ways to become better at communication are to read more, listen to conversations, be a good listener, be present, be aware of what’s happening if reacting, being mindful of the other person, check in with ourselves, be aware and responsible, know our intentions, and ask ourselves, “what can we do differently?” 70-80% of being a good communicator is the ability to listen: so being present, being in the moment, managing distractions, is important. True communication comes only with no judgement, and when people feel free to share. The best communicators are story tellers, we identify with stories, and become engaged with the message in the story.